Fag hags – Offensive or Defensive?


I am a 20-year-old gay male at university near Brighton. I would walk over hot coal for my friends and then do it again and again if I had to. Yes, it’s true I hold my hands up and confess, most of my friends are female, but that’s not because I don’t have any males in my life. I just seem to have more in common with my female friends. My boyfriend and I have been together for two years. It’s strange but because of our age difference we both have separate friends. We socialise together and I don’t have a problem with his friends, as he also doesn’t with mine. We haven’t sacrificed our friends for our relationship and we both know how important each other’s friends are.

When I am at university during term time, we don’t see much of each other. It is hard, as anyone who is in a long-term relationship knows that sometimes it feels unbearable, but it makes our relationship solid and it allows us see our friends. Do I consider them all fag hags? No I don’t think so. If anything I feel as if that would insult them to call them that. I sure I would get a slap if I were to call one of my friends at university a fag hag. However if I were to call my friends back in Kent a fag hag, they would probably laugh and enjoy the attention. I guess I just have different friends. Brighton friends and home friends. The two just as loyal, just as fun, but socialising with both of them is a completely different type of night out. For example a perfect night with my university friends would consist of a lovely catch up with a strong cuppa tea, my night with my Kent girls would involve much more alcohol (cheeky).

For those who don’t know about fag hags, ask yourself if you are a true homosexual. A fag hag is a name given to a girl who is literally joined at the hip to a gay, normally a best friend.

My housemates are true solid friends. We have a laugh but they are always there to put me in my place if I start becoming too queeny – That’s the sign of true friendship. We tease and say that we are going to attend each other’s weddings, but joking aside, I can actually see this coming true one-day. In a few months we have to say goodbye and all leave this house that has held so many memories, not all good however as we have had some rather colourful housemates join our uni days and they were not always the easiest people to get on with, but I consider my experience a success as I have met two amazing friends in Jess and Sarah.

It will be sad to leave my girls that have kept me sane over the two years helped me grow as a person. It wont be goodbye for long though, we will meet up, moan about how little money we all have and dig into our light purses as we purchase the cheapest house vodka and lemonade. Then in the future, when we have all made it, earned our millions and get married we will laugh about the times when we were poor students whilst sipping at our flutes of champagne, darling.

I have different friendships with my friends back at home. There tends to be more cocktails, more shopping and more debt! Gabby and Helen are my blonde sisters! They are always up for a night out, what ever the occasion and like me enjoy the finer things in life, even if we have to increase our rather extensive overdrafts to supply our addictive drinking habits, it’s a small price to pay. We have had some mighty nights out and when out on the town, they are my fag hags as I am there protective brother when they attract unwanted attention. The meaning of the word fag hag to me is a colloquial term that is only used when I am horrendously drunk and we are putting the rest of the club to shame on the dance floor. For me ‘faghag’ is a term I use in a positive way to show my girls how much they mean to me. It is a connection that has only been built up from years of partying. I love them and they alone are my antidote to a boring night. I love all my friends but my fag hags are the crazy blondes who by the way I haven’t seen in ages. Time for a night out girls!



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