Based on a true story – this is a short piece of fiction describing what it was like to have my first fit. I don’t usually share this, but today I found myself with nothing to do and I decided to cast my mind back to when I was 10 and remember what it was like…
“Mum, I don’t feel well,” I peered from around the corner of the door and tried to get my mothers attention. “Mum…” the dizziness was making me impatient.“Go down stairs, its 5am, Daddy’s making a cuppa tea,”
I retreated back to my room to throw on my dressing gown, every step felt less than ordinary. Something was not right, my knees were weak and my body felt heavy. I lunged to see if I could take the strain, my knees buckled and I fell to the floor. ‘Strange’, I thought, ‘that’s never happened before.’ I reached for my dressing gown and I fell again. In panic I got up quickly and headed for the door. The room started spinning faster and I collapsed again, this time hitting my head on the radiator as I fell, but I couldn’t feel the pain from my head, I couldn’t feel anything. It was like a dream, you know…When you feel totally out of control and cant feel any pain. You scream but nothing comes out, no matter how much you try, nothing. Inside I was yelling ‘HELP ME, SOMEONE HELP!’ but on the outside I was silent.
I was shaking and there was nothing I could do. My mum must have heard the thud and came rushing out and that’s when I knew it wasn’t a dream, because in my dream no one comes and I wake up and everything is back to normal. I heard footsteps running up the stairs and my mum crying beside me, “what’s happening to him?!”
“He’s having a fit.” my dad said with control in his voice. I couldn’t breath, my vision was going blurry and I couldn’t feel my body, it was at that moment I thought I was dying. He put me into the recovery position but my consistent shaking wouldn’t stop. I didn’t know what a fit was, or what happened to people who had fits. My brother then came out from his room at that moment to find me shaking on the floor, I’m sorry he had to see that, it must have been frightening for him and then I remember my dad directing him to get the phone and call 999, and ask for the ambulance, say that your brother is having a fit and he can’t breath and then say where we live. My brother was brilliant; he did exactly what my dad told him to do.
I can’t remember much else; just that the paramedics came and carried me into the big blue-lighted vehicle that took people away when they were sick. The siren was loud but what scared me the most was the speed we were driving and the fact that there were no windows to look out of. My dad came with me and he was sat beside me. The questions in my mind started burning. What just happened? Why did that happen? What is a fit? And what happens now?
Thank you for reading, after this experience I had three more cycles of fits, it was never diagnosed but at the time I was training hard in gymnastics, which for me seems to be the most likely cause. When I left the intense training I stopped having fits. Since then I have not had a fit since. (touch wood)